I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
