I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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