Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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