Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
