Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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