I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think a kid would responsible me up
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
