Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
