Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i out mim tonsoeep
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