I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize