I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish I only lived at night.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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