I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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