There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
