We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
ttyl tear gas
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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