We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
