she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
