So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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