you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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