I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
