I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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