youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
