does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
