Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
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