hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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