dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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