i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i love accidental penises.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
dude. I can hear the air.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
