And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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