i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
