I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
