I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
