Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
