She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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