Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
