Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
