I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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