It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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