I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
