i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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