You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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