I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
