it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
