Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
