glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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