im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
no, he came in my armpit
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
