his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
