at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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