I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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