Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
