question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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