David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
