I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
