he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
