her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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