Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
