I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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