I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Who died my cat blue again?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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