As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We named our party play list daddy issues
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
