Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
