she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This is the high leading the old right now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
