He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
