I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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