Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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