My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
